UK's UAE embassy's festive poem goes viral

The British Embassy in the UAE has become a social media phenomena after it launched its own version of the famous ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’ poem warning expats and tourists to respect local customs.

The poem is being released in daily instalments on the embassy’s Twitter and Facebook posts and features the escapades of an imaginary British national Stu Nicholas.

Problems faced include public drunkenness, and inappropriate dress codes.

“To the work Christmas party, off Stu went. For an evening of dancing and merriment,” a recent post reads. “No holding of hands, or Christmas kisses. Under the mistletoe, despite amorous wishes.

“So time to go home after several spirits neat. But it’s a crime for Stu to be drunk on the street.”

The UAE has an extremely large foreign population, and while specific estimates vary it is widely agreed that around 80 percent of the population is foreign-born.  

Last year, Dubai alone attracted 11 million travellers – some three million of which came in the last three months of the year. The emirate has an aggressive vision to boost visitor numbers even further and aims to be welcoming 20 million visitors a year by 2020.

Dubai is seen as the most socially liberal, although the sale of alcohol is restricted and public intoxication prohibited. Public displays of affection can also run afoul of local law enforcement. Other emirates, however, are even stricter and the sale of all alcohol is prohibited in Sharjah, as is sex outside marriage.

In the past, British citizens have been jailed for kissing in public and having drunken sex on the beach.

The poem so far:

Twas the night before flying, at Stu Nicholas’s house,
Off to the Emirates, along with his spouse.

The cases were full, but packed with ill care,
Banned medication inside - a customs nightmare!

He forgot to check FCO travel advice,
For that he might pay an almighty price.

With visa in passport and job contract signed,
A place of safe hiding, Stu looked to find.

He placed carefully his passport in a safe place
And carried around a copy that he brought in his case

To the work Christmas party, off Stu went,
For an evening of dancing and merriment.

No holding of hands, or Christmas kisses,
Under the mistletoe, despite amorous wishes.

So time to go home after several spirits neat,
But it’s a crime for Stu to be drunk on the street.

He called for a taxi to get a ride back.
The driver was sullen, with no Christmas crack.

But Stu was polite and kept his calm,
And this gave the driver no cause for alarm.

So Stu makes it home to his new bed.
No prison this time, just a sore head!

He’s out Christmas shopping, enjoying the mall,
With Mrs Nicholas looking, all pretty and tall.

She likes skimpy clothes, and the weather is warm
Stu reminds her to cover up and respect the dress norm.